Apparently it is not okay for men to take sewing classes. The general consensus among men was that those who take sewing classes must be homosexual, or are just plain weird. One man responded to my post saying, "sooooo gay." The response from most women was that they were excited for me or jealous that I was taking a sewing class and they were not. I was accepted by women with comments like, "jealous!!!! I want to learn to sew." I believe women would accept men who like to sew, shop, or get pedicures as friends. In most circles men are not comfortable with other men who do feminine things. Personally, I tend to hang out with people that like the same sports and have the same interests.
It is interesting, women who prove they can do manly things are considered cool. It may be a matter of showing power or dominance. A woman who can surf or skate shows she is more talented and skilled. A man who can sew is seen as weak or womanly. In our society we tend to affiliate things women do with weakness and things men do with power and strength.
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14 comments:
The question that came to mind after reading your post was if enough men started sewing and just owned the fact that they sewed, would sewing eventually become "masculine", or at least gender neutral? I say this because men used to wear makeup and wigs and the social norms eventually changed. I wonder what it takes for the social norm to change with something like that
i personally wouldnt be impressed, interested, or "jealous" if a guy said he wanted to learn to sew. but these girls obviously have a different outlook. i agree though, that women doing manly things is cool because it steps out of the norm and shows the "anything you can do, i can do better. i can do anything better than you" attitude.
I agree that women doing manly things is cool, but men doing womenly things is questionable. I wonder when this gender code will change.
You brought up an interesting point. Is it useless then for a man to learn a "woman's skill" because it won't make him powerful?
Haha! Girls see it so differently than guys. Are guys just too cool to do homemaking activities??
I would assume that if a guy wrote that on his wall it would be because he is trying to get a girl that likes that men do that stuff and less because he is actually interested in it.
As you said "feminine things" you are already labeling the activity as only acceptable for women. I think that as a society we have to start by changing our own acceptance system and realize that women and men are equal. A sewing class won't give you physical power but will definitely help in other situations. Every skill is equally appreciated depending on the situation.
I wonder how much of this has to do with how we are raised and what we are taught in the home. It seems that this has a major affect on our outlook.
Maybe it is not as accepted amongst the men because its just not something you can do with other men. Say Jack decided to take up sewing. All his buddies might feel uncomfortable with him not only because of the "gay" connotation, but also because they feel they cant participate in it unless they want that connotation associated with themselves. Maybe they feel they wont succeed because it is traditionally a female activity. But men used to be tailors and I think they actually are better at sewing than women.
I agree it is a major issue about power. It seems like men view it more as that idea of losing power, while women are indifferent.
I agree that it's a lot easier for women to do considered "male" activities than it is for men to do "women" activities.
I wouldn't be really impressed if a guy learned to sew. Girls sew to mend things or give gifts in my experience. Some people actually make clothes, but you have to have a lot of patience to get that advanced! What would a guy do with sewing? Besides, sewing machines are expensive...
It definitely shows that he has a more sensitive side. It shows that either one he is very comfortable with his sexuality or that he is still trying to figure things out.
I don't know if I necessarily agree with the idea that women who do manly things are considered cool. I know many guys who find it unattractive when girls can beat them in sports, or when girls burp or swear in public and these are usually all "man type" things. I've found that people don't like it when the opposite sex messes with their turf- guys don't love to play sports with girls, and girls don't love to shop with guys. While I understand these are extreme examples, they illustrate the idea that men and women each have their own codes and they tend to adhere to them- so I don't know if I agree that it's okay for women to step out of their gender code.
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